Discernment

 The goal of discernment is “not only to make a right choice now, but also to know the Lord whom we serve, to live a life of listening and responding, to live in community with God.”[1] Along with personal experience, the process of discernment includes praying about one’s own condition (self-knowledge) and knowing God intimately, with the recognition of the presence of God in one’s life, and then gradually the entire process is being developed as a habit. Furthermore, this process can be extended to communal discernment.

1      Praying: Self-knowledge and Intimacy with God

 “God is not an object to be studied. God is the subject who speaks, decides, and reveals what God wants to. God gives us an open ear, a heart that can be touched, capacious mind. Discernment is the art of receiving these gifts.”[2] This art needs to be practiced. Deep personal prayer can help us to grow closer to God.

Praying with scripture daily helps us to cleanse our spirit, and allow us to tell God honestly about the reality of our condition. Our opening to Him is based on His unconditional love towards us.

“Only when I have at least some affective appreciation of the depth of God's love will I be willing and able to say and mean the final words of Psalm 139: Search me, 0 God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts… If I do not know in my bones that God loves me with an everlasting love, I will not dare to open myself to his gaze and to ask to see myself as he sees me.” [3]

“Daily I would pray a phrase and then allow the Spirit to speak to me with through me as I allowed that phrase to wash around inside my spirit.”[4]

When searching my heart, I love to use Psalms for probing any feelings and thoughts of mine that have been deviating from God’s way. The probing involves having a dialogue with God through reflection, without accusation, but for me to become aware of my impure motives. Not through accusation but through grace because my salvation is based on my faith in Christ alone, in which God loves me unconditionally. God’s grace of salvation frees us from one’s bondage on sins, so we can reflect, be healed by Jesus washing away our impurities through His sacred blood, by the work of the Holy Spirit, under the mercy of our Heavenly Father. We must be aware of our sins, laid them out to Jesus for His mysterious healing, which eventually Holy Spirit leads us to transformation:

“We cannot purify our own desires. So don't fall into the trap of taking this on as a spiritual self-improvement project. Instead, lift yourself to God in the midst of your disordered state and allow God to undertake the necessary transformation. Only prayer can order a disordered inner life… The sorting work is God's, not ours. Our job is to sit in God's presence and allow God to purify our desires… Prayer is the place of divine transformation because it is the place in which our hearts are slowly transformed into the heart of God. Prayer is the place where we discover that our deepest desire is nothing other than God alone. This is the purification of desire. Only when we are willing to desire nothing more than God can we experience the freedom of truly enjoying all things. Christian spirituality does not involve the destruction of desire. Rather it involves realignment of our desires by turning our hearts toward the Source of all desire. God's desires become our desires.”[5]

“The spiritual life is always a unified life, oriented around one basic longing. Christian spirituality is a heart and will unified in Christ and oriented toward the loving Father. Despite our most creative efforts, no one can live in both the kingdom of self and the kingdom of God.”[6]

The above process brings us into an intimate relationship with God.

For example, before a making a decision, I had been reading the Bible (Lectio Divina), writing spiritual journals, and praying reflectively for a period of time. I was aware of the all the options. In the beginning, I was not particular praying for direction on selecting one of the options among all, not exactly. I was praying about myself – learning to be naked about my thoughts and feelings in front of God. Gradually, I became more in tune with His heart. My desire was getting closer to His desire, having some of my less-Godly desires (egos) and doubts dissipated peacefully. I sensed tiny transformation on my being during the process, and I chose based on my being.

            On the subject of self-knowledge, I found that the approach from Ackerman’s “Listening to God” is very rational[7] : examining stages and spirituality types illustrated by charts and tables. They are useful as references; however, we cannot start without sincerely telling God about our thoughts and feelings, especially our feelings, with faith in Him that He can heal and transform. We must be aware that “self-deception works in us naturally as the defense mechanisms operate in the unconscious”[8]; therefore, we need to go against our nature. We need to accept ourselves, as God has unconditionally accepted us. “Self-acceptance always precedes genuine self-surrender and self-transformation.”[9] I think the word “self” here does not mean oneself; it means “auto” by the work of the Holy Spirit through Christ. Therefore, self-knowledge is “growing awareness of who we truly are – who we are in God… seek this knowledge so we can live discerning lives, living more fully who we are, and making choices congruent with our true identity. Such knowledge expands us, giving us our place in the universe story, freeing our hearts for compassion.”[10]

I enjoyed reading Benner’s “Desiring God’s Will” book about the illustration of “Judas’ problem” that Judas enforced his own will onto God’s will, which eventually he betrayed Jesus:

“Judas was undoubtedly very impressed with Jesus at first. Jesus was different from anyone he had ever encountered…The willful, stubborn pursuit of his own agenda was likely behind his betrayal of Jesus.” [11]

Our fears could also be a contributing factor on hindering to get closer to God. From “Paying Attention to God: Discernment in Prayer”, William Barry points out that the fear of death is due to the fear of losing relationship.  To counter this fear, he reminds me:

“Only through death could he be more a person, in more relationships, not only with Abba, but with all of his brothers and sisters who had gone before him and would come after him… death is not the doom of humankind, but our boon. For only death will take away the blinders that keep us from seeing the whole of our reality, that we are in communion with all human beings because we are in communion with the eternal community, Father, Son, and Spirit, the one mystery we call God.”[12]

Only when we love God so much, laying our heart on top of His, the rhythm of our heart beat synchronizes to His rhythm, that we can surrender, then obedience flows out from our transformation, which is neither from our own will nor effort, but by the work of the Holy Spirit through Christ. “The paradoxical law of God's kingdom is that it is only when we give up what we clutch most desperately that we will receive it. Grasping destroys. Surrender restores and transforms.” [13]

2      Recognizing: The Presence of God

God is always with us; the only matter is that whether we are in tune or out of tune about His presence. I have tabulated John Ackerman’s definition of consolation and desolation, and Saint Ignatius’ description of consolation and desolation written by Rose Mary Dougherty in “Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening”:

Source	Consolation	Desolation
Ackerman[14]	Consolations are whatever helps us love God more.	Desolations are whatever pulls us in the opposite direction. When we are in desolation, we should make no decisions.
Dougherty from Saint Ignatius[15]	Being aflame with intense love of God	Everything that is contrary to spiritual consolation: •Confusion •Gloom •Disquiet from various temptations and commotions •Difficulty in and distaste for prayer •Movement to contemptible and earthly things •Tending toward lack of faith, hope, or love
	Pouring out tears moving to love of God	To allow us to see through to our desire for God that can be constant, despite what we are feeling
	Finding our life of faith, hope, and love so strengthened and emboldened that the joy of serving God is foremost in our life	To draw us into a greater reliance on God rather than on what we can do for God

In order to “love God more”, we must accept God’s merciful and gracious unconditional love towards us, and then present our heart sincerely to God in a humbling and prayerful manner so that our impurities would be washed away, and our beings be healed, as stated in Ephesians 2:8-10; hence, to experience consolation.

            Brother Lawrence in “The practice of the presence of God” gave us many examples that we can learn from:

Item	Brother Lawrence’s Practice	Learning
interaction/dialogue with God	“He responds faithfully to God’s calling, either by offering his heart to God, by a tender, loving look, or by some affectionate words, such as, ‘My God, I am all Yours; do what You will with me.’ Then, it is almost as if this God of love returns to his soul to rest again, satisfied with these few words. Experiencing these things makes this brother certain beyond all doubt that God is always in the depth of his soul, no matter what he does or what happens to him.”[16]	Brother Lawrence’s prayer reminds me Jesus’ prayer on the Mount of Olives (Luke 22:42). The Peace of Christ is with him. Honestly speaking, I am still not able to say this prayer at all times, though I know the great Peace comes along with this prayer. Currently, I am more-or-less at the stage of “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner.”.
Short prayers	“lengthy prayers encourage wandering thoughts… simply present yourself to God as if you were a poor man knocking on the door of a rich man, and fix your attention on His presence.”[17]	I love singing short prayer hymns in my heart, such as Mary’s song Luke 1:46-47, Taize song “Jesus, Remember Me” based on scripture Luke 23:42.
By heart and by love	“Brother Lawrence began this practice by cultivating a deep presence of God in his heart. He said that God’s presence had to be maintained by the heart and by love rather than by understanding and speech.”[18]	Intimacy with God definitely is maintained by heart with the bi-directional love between God and I. Understanding can help us to know about God, but not to know God. Understanding and speech are for sharing of God’s work on us, and to know about His revelation. However, the reception of His revelation is through my heart of desiring God.
Avoid curiosity driven fulfillment	“carefully avoided answering those curious questions which lead nowhere, and which serve only to burden the spirit and dry up the heart”[19]	I tried to let go of my personal satisfaction from fulfilling my curiosity. For example, to study the Bible out of personal curiosity for knowledge fulfillment is risky, illusive, and evil (Genesis 2:17, 3:5-7). Bible should be studied along with faith and passion toward God.
Total reliance onto God	“entirely mistrust one’s own strength, relying completely on God’s protection”[20]	Humility, Trusting God for His provision and protection upon His people

3      Developing: Discernment becomes Habitual and Communal

Continue to pray for oneself by laying out one’s sins nakedly in front of God then asking Him to heal and to transform us, and to practice the recognition of God’s presence are the foundation of discernment. Such practices will quiet us down in Peace, so that we may able to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Hence, choosing God’s way becomes a habit. We do not need to look for God during the process of our discernment, as God is already the Lord in the entire process. Our hearts are synchronized with God’s heart, and our ears are fine-tuned for crispy clear reception of the voice of the Holy Spirit: we know God and passionately desire what God desires at all times under all conditions. For whatever reason due to our limitations that we cannot fulfill all requests, we quickly recognize that we are living under God’s grace and mercy, that He is God, the almighty one, not us.

“The habit of discernment fine-tunes the ear of the heart so that we bear more clearly the invitations to love intrinsic to every moment of life. In the habit of discernment, our choices are again and again refined by the invitations to love. Gradually we come to know what is consonant with love, what we need to do or need not to do and, with grace, we are free to respond…The habit of discernment is about coming to live in the oneness of God’s desire and ours. Finally, it is about an unrestricted love in all of life.” [21]

            When discernment becomes a personal habit, we can discern together with a group of Christians who have also been practicing the art of discernment. Often, we need to discern in a group setting because “discerning in community lessened the individualism and subjectivity”[22], as well as discernment outcomes will affect people around us well. Communal discernment is necessary when we are discerning for the welfare on the behalf of minorities or for an organization.

I would like to conclude this article about discernment with a passage from the Bible: “¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18)

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[1] John Ackerman, Listening to God (p. 20), The Alban Institute.

[2] John Ackerman, Listening to God (p. 81), The Alban Institute.

[3] William A. Barry, Paying Attention to God: Discernment in Prayer (Kindle Locations 76-79), Kindle Edition.

[4] David G. Benner, Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (p. 40), Kindle Edition.

[5] David G. Benner, Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (pp. 87-88), Kindle Edition.

[6] Ibid, (p.120)

[7] John Ackerman, Listening to God (p. 29-78), The Alban Institute.

[8] David G. Benner, The Gift of Being Yourself (p.62), IVP Books.

[9] Ibid, (p.58).

[10] Rose Mary Dougherty, Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening (Kindle Locations 345-346), Kindle Edition.

[11] David G. Benner. Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (p. 21-23). Kindle Edition.

[12] William A. Barry, Paying Attention to God: Discernment in Prayer (Kindle Locations 117-119), Kindle Edition.

[13] David G. Benner, Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (p. 41), Kindle Edition.

[14] John Ackerman, Listening to God (p. 87), The Alban Institute.

[15] Rose Mary Dougherty, Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening (Kindle Locations 177-184), Kindle Edition.

[16] Brother Lawrence, The practice of the presence of God (p.26), Whitaker House.

[17] Ibid. (p.43)

[18] Ibid. (pp.80-81)

[19] Ibid. (p.86)

[20] Ibid. (p.89)

[21] Rose Mary Dougherty, Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening (Kindle Locations 293), Kindle Edition.

[22] John Ackerman, Listening to God (p. 85), The Alban Institute.